It’s 2017.
New Year’s resolutions are made to improve different areas of our life. Most of us want to get fit, some want to save money or travel while others want to quit bad habits. I’ve made all of those resolutions in the past and thought it was a great way to become a better person.
We’re all getting older (and hopefully wiser). It’s time to make some serious changes in the deepest parts of our being. Search inside your core and find the happiness and kindness you forgot you had in you. That, I think, is the greatest resolution you can do for yourself and everyone around you. It’s easier than you think.
As the New Year rolls in, I’ve once again established what is important to me: to practice more fervently my new-found solution to all negative energy and share it to the world. This solution is called MINDFULNESS. And with that, comes the peace of mind that everyone longs for all year round, all their lives. If I could use my voice and influence to make this world a better place, I would do so by spreading the life-changing magic of mindfulness.
Imagine if we all had boundless compassion for ourselves and those around us? If we all knew how to access that happiness that is inherent inside each and every one of us so that we may live free of ignorance (delusion), craving (greed) and hatred (anger) – the three poisons of the mind that cause one to be unhappy.
Let me give this a shot and introduce you to my first of many articles about mindfulness and mindfulness meditation. If you love it, if you hate it or if it simply rings a bell, please leave a comment below and let’s start a dialogue to fuel my series on Mindful Living.
Namaste.
B
There are many schools of thought and ways of living to help navigate our emotional ups and downs. But there is one simple practice being taught all over the world to help mankind live wide awake. It has helped me through many challenges and has positively affected how I deal with the world. Mindfulness and mindfulness meditation are easy to learn for anyone at any stage in their lives. All it takes is an open mind.
The beginning of my self-awareness journey
I’m no spiritual guru but I am unusually inquisitive about my own psychology and well being. Reading self-help articles is a favorite past-time of mine. So I have always been inclined to search inside myself.
My first big realization came when my yoga and mindfulness mentor, Neil Salang, would advocate yoga of the mind in his Ashtanga classes. That’s when I understood that I have the ability to train the mind to be focused on my movement inside the space of my mat and nothing else, feeling the slightest nuance of every bone and muscle in my body. I learned how to concentrate on the physical, mental and spiritual practice of yoga. As my yoga practice deepened, the more mindful I became. Thus, my self-awareness journey began.
The greater calling came, of course, in the form of a broken heart. I willingly brought myself to regularly see a therapist (lest I continue to talk my friends’ ears off) and started attending Neil’s guided meditation classes. Pretty soon, I was drawn into this new reality where my thoughts and emotions were just a speck in my existence. I started to see the world in high definition.
Mindfulness as a way of life
Mindfulness, simply put, is being aware of the present moment.
Author Jon Kabat-Zinn mentions in his book “Mindfulness for Beginners,” that “mindfulness is about cultivating bare attention, discernment, clear seeing and wisdom, but at the same time it is important to bring an an affectionate quality in the attending.”
Mindfulness is engaging your senses to focus on the full experience of your present activity. Even if it is as mundane as folding your clothes, savoring the feeling of the fabric touching your finger tips, the scent of clean laundry and the neat lines you create by folding, is a way to practice mindfulness.
In a state of not being mindful, we are unconscious of our thoughts running amuck – either dwelling on past events or daydreaming about the future. Through mindfulness, we become at ease with these thoughts.
Remember those moments when you interrupt before the person speaking has completed their sentence? Or you mindlessly reach for your cellphone in the middle of an activity? Or maybe you easily get bored and impatient, always thinking of doing something else. Mindfulness is the cure to the serial multi-tasker.
Mindfulness applied
To me, mindfulness is giving your present activity, situation or companion your undivided attention with a sense of love and non-judgment.
When I focus my attention on someone or something, I tune out distractions. Like when I help a friend move into his first apartment or I train a new staff member in my restaurant, I consider the level of communication and patience required for that task to be lovingly carried out. When I listen to instructions or watch a documentary – especially if it’s a subject matter I’ve read much about – I try to do so with a “beginner’s mind.”
When I purchase goods, I’ve learned to consider what money means to society, not just myself. When I consume these goods, I am mindful of the garbage I create in this world.
In my simple daily tasks such as making my bed and coffee in the morning or organizing my belongings, I treat it like a ritual that makes me who I am. That may sound like a herculean task for those of us who are accustomed to having our house help, parent or partner clean up after us. In a mindset that we are too busy to do this or do that, we may miss out on the hidden beauty there is in treating these mundane tasks like a craft.
Mindfulness meditation as a practice
Like mindfulness, meditation is a similar tool to bring awareness to the mind and be at ease with your thoughts, not eliminate them. It helps improve anxiety and stress, even focus and self-control.
Mindfulness and meditation both offer an end to suffering and a path to true happiness that is inside us. Mindfulness meditation is a meditation technique that focuses the attention on the body and arising emotions without making any judgments.
Without the practice of these, we may think we need some sort of external validation or stimulation to feel peaceful. But once harnessed together, mindfulness meditation can help one access inner peace that is inherently inside all of us – without striving to bury emotions or spitefully let them go in the interest of moving on. Instead, what we hold true is non-judgmental acceptance that it is what it is.
Therein lies enlightenment or the end of suffering, according to Eckhart Tolle in “The Power of Now” or liberation, as the revered Dalai Lama said in “The Art of Happiness.” Genuine and lasting happiness relates to the mind and heart, not physical pleasure. These are attainable through regular practice of mindfulness meditation.
My easy mindfulness meditation practice
I started my daily practice with 10 minutes in the morning using an app called Headspace. It is highly recommended by Tim Ferris, the author of the “Four-hour Work Week” and is used by many influential personalities. I can do it anywhere and any time of the day but when I’m home, I like to light incense, sit on a mat in half lotus and face east.
From there, I increased my mind mileage to 20 minutes, still using Headspace. After taking an in-depth mindfulness meditation workshop with Neil, I now occasionally prefer to meditate without the app and set a timer to see how long I was “in the zone.” My greatest natural highs are when I end my practice feeling like it’s only been 5 minutes but my timer says its been 30. What a joyous feeling of self-love.
The life-changing magic of meditating
Today, I can humbly say that I manage myself much better than I did when I was ignorant. And I use the term ignorant with much affection. I am not easily brought up by the highs and pushed down by the lows. I hover ever so closely to the baseline of my emotions. If I slip, I do not squander energy, mine or others’, on ruminating about what went wrong or contemplating how to do things better. I simply tune into an audiobook about mindfulness and keep my journal handy.
From being a working student who is used to juggling an acting career while earning a degree, I now prefer to do one thing at a time but do it with much love and attention to detail. Gone are my “overachieving” days of starting things before I would finish the previous assignment.
But my favorite application of mindfulness is translated to my lifestyle of less is more. I am slowly adapting to minimalist living where I continuously purge my personal space of objects that do not spark joy in my life and only fill it with a few quality possessions. My house is sparsely decorated and I have a full account of everything I own – including the things inside drawers and closets. But that’s another article I will write soon inspired by my minimalist bible “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo.
We spend so much time and money exercising and eating well to look our best. But what about our mental health and wellness? We are all still a work in progress, no matter what age we are, and it is never too late to start creating new habits. Let mindfulness meditation be the gateway to your own awakening.
For those of you who are ready to start treading your path to happiness, I highly recommend “The Art of Happiness” by The Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler and “Mindfulness for Beginners” by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
I am currently reading “Search Inside Yourself” by Chade-Meng Tan which is one of the most enlightening self-help books I’ve ever read. And I have read a lot! For concerns about romantic relationships, parental issues, finding your purpose or succeeding in life, but most especially, peace of mind and contentment, these three books hold the golden ticket.
Not a big reader? I’ve compiled some short videos below on the topics of mindfulness and mindfulness meditation.
Diane Castaneda says
Hi! Where can I attend Neil Salang’s guided meditation classes? Thank you
closethousewife says
You can check out the website of Yoga Plus.
SS says
Hi, Bianca!
I have been following you on IG for years now and I must say that I am quite a fan of yours- from the way you cook, dress and take good care of your well-being. I must say, though, that we share several common interests. That draw me even closer to you. And now, this. You just never fail to amaze me! ? I thought you should know that. You rekindled that spark within me, yet again, to push even harder this time. And for that, thank you! This article is beyond beautiful. ❤
Love & Light,
S
closethousewife says
Awww my heart is melting like goo. More of these to come! Thank you! *wipes tear*
WonderfulCrazy says
Hi Bianca. I’m currenty experiencing depression and anxiety. Two months ago I left my job and transffered to a new one (with the same industry). Funny because, the Company that I’m at the moment is my dream work place before I even started working. I worked my ass off just to get where I am now. I have undergone several screening processes just to get the job. But to my surprise, I wasn’t happy as I thought I would be. I don’t regret leaving my previous work. In fact, I am glad I did. It’s just that, this new work environment doesn’t suit me. I am not happy. I can’t feel the sence of belongingness and every day (for the past two months) is a battle between quiting or giving it another try. I want to trully start my year right, but before that I need to find my lost soul.
closethousewife says
Maybe try reading the Art of Happiness? And start a simple 10 minute meditation practice to calm those unhappy thoughts. And eventually you will see them fly away.
I hope your workplace turns out to be a healthy one for you. Perhaps change your perspective and try to come out of your shell, reach out to co-workers and find similar interests you can chat about during lunch breaks. Creating camaraderie with your teammates always creates an inspiring work environment.
RA says
Hi, Bianca! So lucky to have stumbled upon your blog entry. I’ve been meaning to cultivate mindfulness and meditation in my life, yet I always find an excuse (i.e. I have no time). Started reading Mindfulness for Beginners last night and I am more than halfway to finishing it. Started my meditation this morning too using the app you recommend. Hope I will be able to followthrough. 🙂 – RA
closethousewife says
Even for me, it’s a commitment to do everyday. But I am trying my best because I feel like soul enjoying life more when I meditate regularly and live slowly =)
Ley says
Hi, Bianca! Thanks so much for this post. I am slowly opening myself to being more mindful and aware. My mom has always showed me how powerful meditation is. Although meditation intimidates me, I’m now inspired and I think I can now give it another shot.
Will read all your recommendations. I’d also like to suggest Pema Chodron’s work. I’ve read her book Living Beautifully: with Uncertainty and Change (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13414918-living-beautifully), and she writes very beautifully.
closethousewife says
Will check that book out! Meditation is not intimidating at all. Imagine yourself sitting alone, in a quiet corner or your house or garden with your eyes closed but still alert and relaxed. It’s the easiest thing ever. All you have is yourself! Not intimidating at all =)
Katrine says
Hi Bianca,
Thanks for this very insightful and inspiring blog. Lucky a friend of mine forwarded it to me because she knows i do yoga but that i have also been inconsistent with my practice (Work and my laziness in working out gets in the way most of the time). I guess I saw it differently -just plainly working out, but you’ve made me realize the true beauty of meditation and mindfulness. Definitely encouraged now. Looking forward to reading more tips and thoughts. Thanks again!
Katrine
closethousewife says
So happy to hear that! Yoga so much more than a physical practice. Start with concentration inside your mat. Listen only to the voice of your teacher. And tune into every feeling in your body. Your practice will for sure grow into mindful yoga =)
Cai M. says
This is such an inspiring post, Bianca. Thank you for the book suggestions. I will definitely read them. I am almost finished reading Buddhist Boot Camp by Timber Hawkeye. You might also want to check Brianna Wiest’s book, 101 Essays.
Again, thanks for sharing about mindfulness.
closethousewife says
I’ll check that book out =)
Kaity says
Wow! This is so inspiring! Will give this a shot. In this crazy time, it is so hard to be mindful and stay in the present. My mind is always in a chaos.
closethousewife says
Start with deep breathing with your eyes closed =)
Cel says
Goodness gracious. Thankyou for this, Bianca! I’ve just recently discovered that one of my passions is to promote healthy-living not only for myself but also for my loved ones and other people. I came to this realization and decision when I would always feel depressed and down for no apparent reason. I would always feel restive and dissatisfied with everything I do. I knew ever since that I am such an “overthinker” and has so much angst (I am diagnosed with OCD!!!). I am perfectionist and I would always plan everything in my head (or sometimes I write it down on my journal) and wind up doing another thing. My mind is so disorganized that I end up ruining everything. This is when I started to take a look at my health – the food that I eat, and because I am very particular with my skin, I also started to reconsider the things that I put on it. I did my researches, read several articles and started to become mindful of my overall well-being. I felt like these things are connected to how I function everyday, how I think and decide, how I socialize with other people and basically with everything that I do. I can’t wait to start with meditation and yoga to fully realize self-awareness and mindful thinking. I must say your blog is compelling and you are such an inspiration.
With so much love,
Cel
closethousewife says
Aww thank you! I’m glad my Blog is helping =)
Getz says
Hi, Bianca! A pleasant good evening to you! I’m that fan of yours who first saw you on the cover of FHM way back when I was on holiday in the Philippines. I love how you answered Tito Boy’s questions when you guested in Tonight with Boy Abunda and after reading this post, you made me emulate and admire you more! You exude humility, grace, beauty and extreme good vibes. Like you, I’m a declutter and a minimalist chick. If I have my way, my home would be in white with just a tinge of grey but I’m married and that goes without saying, we have to give a little , as well as take a little. Spelled correctly, compromise. 😉 Lastly, I’m going to check that “Mindfulness for Beginner’s” book. Thanks for the recommendation! Stay blessed and I hope you won’t change.
closethousewife says
Thank you for watching!!
RC says
Hi Bianca,
This post is so inspiring and so are you. I have discovered about Mindfulness and Headspace in 2015 after I had several anxiety and panic attacks. I have been reading self-help articles about CBT and Mindfulness since then and decided to start practicing Yoga last Oct 2016. I learned how to calm and relax my mind and body because of mindful breathing. Reading your post inspires me to commit more to my daily practice of mindfulness, mindful meditation & yoga. Thank you.
closethousewife says
Yes, commit! Yoga and meditation really helped me become a better, more centered person.
imajinationsss says
Hi Bianca!
I’ve recently come across your blog and found a haven of inspiration. As of the moment I may be experiencing a little bit of downtime whilst I am here abroad and missing home. The show Pusong Ligaw also keeps me company and I love how you portray Marga,you are superb. ?
Btw, I am a transman but I am astounded by your blog & the willingness to live life fully. Undergoing this stage as a transman is difficult yet your blog, Instagram and show are one of the few things I find joy in.
The passion is burning in your spirit. Thank you for spreading it with us your readers.
Thank you for being an inspiration! I plan on starting my own blog soon too. You will be credited for being the utmost source of inspiration.
You are an inspiration –for keeps!
I hope I get to meet you soon -I need a dose of your positivity. ?
closethousewife says
Yes, the fire inside me seems to keep burning. I have many interests and this blog has been my therapy for self-expression. Thank you for appreciating it and I’m glad I’m able to help, in my own little way. Life is great! I hope you stay happy and inspired.
Laarnz says
Hi Bianca.. I just started reading your blog and I just want to say thank you for being such an inspiration. Upon reading your contents it made me realize so many things in life and it gave me such positive motivation.. I downloaded the Headspace app and Im looking forward to using it. Btw did you subscribe for the whole year or did you just use the free mediation included in the app? Thanks again!
closethousewife says
I have been subscribing to the whole year. Thank you for reading!
Michelle says
I love every word in this blog Bianca, thanks for the inspiration. I tried it a couple of times when I was at uni and it really helped me manage my stress better but I never really kept it going, I don’t know what’s pulling me away from it but I know for sure that it is something of interest to me. Thanks for the book recommendation, I’ll deffo get that off Amazon haha. I’m currently reading Matteo Pistono’s Meditation and it’s a good one for beginners like myself.
Keep inspiring people!
Stewart says
Hi, I’m also currently decluttering ,de-owning stuffs and trying to live consciously. It’s such an inspiration to know there are like minded people who’s into it as well. Hope there’s an avenue that we share our insights and encourage one another as we go through this journey
Rachel says
Hi Bianca! This is a really great article! I’ve been looking for a blog about mindfulness and minimalism in the PH since it’s more relatable to me. Good thing I came across this. Keep it up please ?
Korina Karamihan says
Please continue this series, Ate Bianca! I’m always looking forward to this kind of posts. I want to have a mindful life as well. Thank you so much!